


Bob and Helen Fuck in the Beans Aisle While I Disassociate in the Bathroom

by Daryll_B_Consequences



Series: Bob and Helen Parr Fuck [1]
Category: Incredibles (Pixar Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 13:30:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15631644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daryll_B_Consequences/pseuds/Daryll_B_Consequences
Summary: Read the title





	Bob and Helen Fuck in the Beans Aisle While I Disassociate in the Bathroom

It was your average Thursday night at the grocery store. I was working stocking beans in aisle 4. Earlier that day an older lady had offered to suck my dick in the bathroom. I had to respectfully decline. As you can imagine, I was in a pretty frail mental state at that point. Little did I know that soon something would happen to push me miles over the edge.  
It was Mexican Night at the Parr household. Helen was making tacos, but noticed she had forgotten something- her refried beans. "Bob, start the car. I forgot the beans," she told her husband.  
"Gimme a break, Helen. Really? This is so unlike you," he replied with a groan. The two got into their shitty little Oldsmobile, a relic from before their glory days. As the car puttered into the parking lot, Helen turned to her husband. "Just five minutes," she said. "And no funny business."  
They walked into my Mythical Magical Aisle of Beans right as "Material Girl" came on. "Oh boy," I thought, "I'll have to refront some beans once they're through." As my attention turned back to my beans, I cut the end of the pointer finger on my right hand on the jagged lid of a mishandled can of kidney beans. As I bent down to put my finger into my shirt I saw my nametag. In a cruel and mocking all-uppercase comic sans font it read "Brontley." "Brontley? Who's nametag is this? My name is Nuthevio" I thought to myself.  
Just then I heard a loud clang from down the bean aisle. The woman had her massive hulking man pinned to the wall of beans. Apparently "Material Girl" had sparked something inside her that made her need to get nasty amidst the beans. I understood. The bean is an alluring, uh... fruit? Vegetable? Starch? The fuck is a bean, actually? Hold up I gotta look this up. Okay a cursory Google tells me it's a fruit but also a protein. I don't know how that's possible. Make up your fucking mind, FDA.   
Anyway, not wanting to watch this act of love unfold I ran to the safety of the bathroom. In the stall, I came to a revelation. My name was, in fact, Brontley Lopinggen. To this day, I have no idea who the fuck Nuthevio is or why I thought I had such a weird name.   
The sounds of pounding and moaning echoed throughout the store, penetrating even the defenses of my Fortress of Filth, ringing in my ears even atop my Porcelain Throne. After what seemed like 5 hours the sounds reached a crescendo, followed by a silence that rocked me to my core. I felt safe to leave. A voice came over the intercom. "Brontley grab the broom, we have a horrible mess on aisle 4." I never knew if they got their beans or not. To be honest, I'd rather not know.


End file.
